I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.