why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.