we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
two words...techno handjob
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex