my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
whose ass print is on the piano?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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