My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
