Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
