omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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