These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I've blown a few things in my day
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
