So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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