Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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