That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
