Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
