Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i drank out of a bidet.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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