the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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