NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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