Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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