4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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