i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
