was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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