3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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