She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
