im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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