And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
