Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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