This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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