I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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