my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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