i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
