you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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