You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
