You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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