Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
