There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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