Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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