i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
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hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.