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• (515): View more from Iowa

  i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.

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• (585): View more from New York

  WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads

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• (805): View more from California

  omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now

  (1-805): View more from California

  he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  stop writing like that.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.

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