How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
