i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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