i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
