You're completely useless in the revolution.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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