After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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