If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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