VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
