There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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