i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
