Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
