I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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