Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
