i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize