Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
