u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
