do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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