Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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