God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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