Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
