Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
