My first STD was from a foam party
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
