I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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