We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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