So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
