then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
