i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
