I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
