he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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