I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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