I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
